Connecting with a Loved One Living with Dementia

Finding out a loved one has been diagnosed with dementia can be a devastating time for a family to navigate. There are so many changes that occur and decisions that need to be made about how to plan for the future. It’s important to develop a supportive community for both the person with dementia and their loved ones. Becoming a caregiver is not easy, and dementia is progressive, meaning that more support will be needed with time. Know that you’re not alone on this journey; it’s estimated that more than 6 million people in the United States are currently living with dementia. Here are some helpful tips for successful communication and interaction to help make living with dementia a little bit easier.

• Talk about the past and join the person in their present. When people think of dementia, the first thing that comes to mind is usually memory loss. Memory loss is just one symptom, and typically the memory loss a person with dementia experiences is short-term, things they have learned or done recently. Someone with dementia likely will be able to tell you about their childhood, maybe even raising their own families, but they won’t be remember what they ate for lunch, or if they even had lunch at all. Reminiscing about the “good old days” is a wonderful way to connect and bring joy and meaning to an interaction. You may become a different character in these stories, but that’s okay! Meet your loved one where they are at and join them in their remembering. It doesn’t matter if you become a beloved sister instead of a cherished granddaughter; the important thing is that you are making a connection and sharing love and joy.
• Share the love. People with dementia never, ever lose the ability to give and receive love. They may become nonverbal, they may have trouble regulating their emotions “appropriately,” but people with dementia are still people, and if you meet them where they are at, if you listen and become receptive to what they are trying to communicate with you, you’ll begin to see that there is love there, and a need for love as well. Try holding their hand, sit together peacefully, ask yes or no questions, and share smiles. If someone with dementia appears agitated or upset, they are likely trying to communicate something that is just not translating correctly. It can be so frustrating for everyone involved!
• Keep it interesting. If the person appears to have basic needs met (they don’t need a toilet, they’re dressed comfortably and aren’t hungry, tired or in pain) try some simple activities together. It can be looking through a magazine, putting together a puzzle, or looking through a cookbook. Make sure it’s something that would interest your loved one, as every person is unique and what you do with them should reflect that.
• Don’t forget to laugh! Try sharing a joke– people with dementia never lose their sense of humor! Knock-knock jokes can be so much fun! Of course you have to remember that each person with dementia is a person with their own sense of humor, so for some you may have to tease it out more than others.
• Include music in interactions as often as possible. Another wonderful way to connect with someone with dementia is through music. Music is stored in many different parts of the brain, so people can often recall words or melodies to different songs long into their journey with dementia. Listen to their favorite music; if you aren’t sure then try a variety of classic hits, hymns and lullabies until you get a reaction. While sitting and visiting, if you run out of things to say, try singing! Don’t worry about how well you can sing, the point is bringing those songs back to the person and sharing that moment.

There are many ways to connect with someone with dementia, and these tools will help you begin a new stage in your relationship, bringing love, happiness and meaning to your visits and daily interactions. While there are many losses along the dementia journey, there are also opportunities to share joy. People with dementia often lose that filter that stops a person from trying new things; they might forget that they “aren’t an artist” or that they would never attempt an activity for fear of failure. As you navigate the journey of dementia with your loved one, try not to focus on the losses. Enjoy the moments of happiness, the stories, smiles and songs, and remember that there’s still a person there eager to share love.

If you have a loved one living with dementia, and you want to learn more about our services, contact us today!