Connecting with Loved Ones with Dementia

Dementia can be devastating to the patient but more so to the family. The person you knew and loved is gone and in his place is a grumpy old man (or woman) who can’t remember who you are. The support your loved one provided in your life has evaporated and there is a hole in your heart.

Opening the Lines of Communication

If only you could reach him, to touch his soul and communicate. Fortunately, experts in communication and in the field of dementia care can help. The advice from the Family Caregiver Alliance suggests approaching your loved one with the same respect you had before the illness set in. One way to think of it is to ‘dance’ rather than ‘box’ or fight. When your loved one moves away from the topic at hand, you can listen and wait until the story is finished. That signals it is time to reintroduce what you were trying to talk about. But maintain your compassion and try not to let your own frustration interfere with the personal connection.

The Alzheimer’s Association recommends maintaining eye contact and making sure distractions are to a minimum.  Turn off the television and place yourself in a position where your loved one can see you easily. Keep in mind that your loved one will probably need time to understand what you are trying to say. This requires patience on your part. You will need even more patience when he tries to respond. His ability to speak may be even slower than his understanding.

Further ideas from The Alzheimer’s Organization include asking direct questions. “Ask yes or no questions. For example, ‘Would you like some coffee?’ rather than ‘What would you like to drink?'”

Listening, watching and relating are keys to communicating with your loved one with dementia. Listen to what he is trying to say, observe his body language and relate emotionally to the frustration he is very likely experiencing.

A Residential Memory Care Option

Mayberry Gardens, in the Dallas area, is a special assisted living and memory care residence providing family-style living for seniors who need some assistance, but don’t require full time skilled nursing care.

Each home is designed to accommodate between 11 to 15 residents in a beautiful home-like environment that allows for both privacy and sociability. Since Mayberry Gardens is truly a home,  residents feel comfortable and secure. To contact Mayberry Gardens visit their web site or call (972) 675-3603.